Injuries are part of the deal in Major League Baseball. It’s the nature of the sport. But every now and then, an injury goes beyond concern and turns into something fans can’t help but crack jokes about. Unfortunately, that’s exactly what’s happening with Padres starter Matt Waldron.
Waldron is out indefinitely after having surgery to treat a hemorrhoid-related infection, yes, that area. He’s reportedly been in the hospital for the past few days, dealing with it. So, while that was enough for the fans to hit the laughing gas pedal, the situation took on a life of its own when Dude Wipes, the disposable wipe company, decided to jump into the conversation and have a little fun with it.
“Exclusive: MLB’s Matt Waldron was offered free Dude Wipes after his butt infection surgery,” TMZ shared via X.
Stammen later updated reporters, saying Waldron is “week-to-week,” which obviously puts his availability for Opening Day in serious doubt. “Matt had to have surgery to drain it and make it better,” Stammen explained on Wednesday.
So yes, Waldron is going to need some time to recover. But then things took a turn toward the absurd when Dude Wipes jumped into the conversation. “Hemorrhoids are no laughing matter. We want to help!” the company said, leaning all the way in. According to TMZ Sports, the people at Dude Wipes would gladly send Waldron some fragrance-free, flushable wipes medicated with witch hazel for relief.
Now, it’s obviously a promotional play on their end, but it’s also made the whole situation a bit of a punchline, even though the Padres may genuinely feel the impact. And why not?
The team had been planning to slot the knuckleballer into the starting rotation, and now that plan is suddenly up in the air. Waldron’s last MLB start was in 2024, when he started 26 times and struck out 21.3% of the time. So, missing such an arm could surely prove costly for the Padres.
